"Left to Our Own Devices"
By Carrie and Joey Longoria
It was a love affair gone badly. Not “Gone Girl” bad. But, bad. See, I had been in my own blissful world of unknown running data until 2009, when I purchased my first Nike + watch from Trak Shak. I had done my research, I knew what I wanted, and I was coveting anyone who had one. We all know once you get to the point of coveting others’ possessions: (1) you must kill the sin, and (2) you accomplish that by buying whatever it is you have been coveting. Yes, that is how I have rationalized numerous purchases over the years. “I don’t want to sin any longer, so I shall buy the shoes, or the purse or the GPS watch, etc., etc. Satan be gone!”
And so it began. The Nike+ watch was charged, and data was transmitted. I was in love. Who doesn’t love instant feedback? I knew my pace, I knew my elapsed running time, I could pause it, and I could upload the data and share it. Heaven, heaven, heaven. Much like the beginning of any romantic relationship, the watch could do no wrong. It looked good on my arm, people noticed, and it kept me engaged with its specific data and reports.
But, after some time had passed, it started acting weird. The battery wasn’t holding a charge, the times reported weren’t accurate, and the screen was starting to lose clarity. Its quirks were now annoying rather than endearing. So, I took it to the experts at Trak Shak, and it was indeed time for a new watch. The new Nike+ was purchased, and everything seemed to be okay, until I realized this new watch wasn’t giving me the times I liked. It was all over the place on pace, and I was getting very obsessed (read: angry) over the total craziness of the data and reports. Come to find out, Nike was having an issue with this watch, and the company was replacing them for free…..Whew!! Done. Nike+ was exchanged, running coach hired, password shared, and now more personal accountability. With this move came increased exposure of paces, miles run, speed work goals hit -- or in my case, not hit -- with this new watch.
This is where the love affair quickly went south. Once I started having assigned paces on training days, I became obsessed with my routes. If a faster pace was on my schedule, I would change my route to be more flat so I could hit that time. If the time was slower than I normally ran, I would run a normal route, but look at my average pace every 5 minutes to ensure I was in line with my specific plan. My love of looking around at all the beauty that is Alabama was gone. Getting lost in thought and working out/thinking through problems while I ran was not happening anymore. In fact, I was just as stressed or more so when I finished a run with the watch, than I was before I ran.
I started to realize the issue was the habit of depending on the watch, and I started resenting it. I didn’t want to see that my pace uphill was too slow. I didn’t want to see that my splits weren’t at the exact prescribed pace per my plan, and I really didn’t want to see any odd numbers when I finished a run. “I will not stop until I hit a solid number. Not 5.89 miles, it must be 6.0 miles!” The solution? I started going on runs without it. I would rationalize it by saying, “I need a break, and running without it one time won’t hurt.” I loved the freedom that came with not running with the watch. I was back running like I used to before I knew of performance watches and all their functions. Sure, I felt guilty, but I was back to enjoying my runs!
Then I met Joey. He loves his watch (still) and enjoys seeing the data and comparing it to previous training cycles. Being new in love, we wanted to run together, and I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t pro watch, so I started wearing mine again. But, what I started noticing was his watch would give him a better time than my watch would. We would be together, running side by side, synced to the same satellite yet our average paces would be totally different. His would read 9:25 minute/pace, mine would read a 10:45. “WHAT?!” My mind began to fume, and I began to wonder if Nike+ had a bias toward men. Sure they can run faster, have less fat mass, get paid more on the dollar, but to be running side by side? Would my Nike+ really be bold enough to tell me our paces were that different? “Blasphemy!” I will get to the bottom of this! I did some research, and no one else had the issue. There were no recalls on my watch this time. The resentment toward my watch started to build again. I was quickly falling out of love. . .
The defining device moment, or as Joey has deemed it, “The Nike+ moment,” occurred on a Sunday in March of 2014. Joey was still returning from an injury, and our easy runs together were like sunshine and roses. Our relationship was still new, and keeping up impressions was still very important. Until, that is, this particular run through the Spain Park trails. As we were running side by side, my watch decided it would report my average pace as 14:30 while Joey’s watch reported much more realistic 10:15. Again, running side by side, same park, synced to the same satellite, my watch told me Joey was running 4 minutes faster per mile.
All composure was lost. My watch might have been thrown, cuss words might have been hurled through the Hoover sky with lungs filled with self-righteousness, and indignation, and the run might have completely stopped right there in the middle of the trail. . . .Seriously, we stopped. Looking back through the haze of anger, I’m not sure if we stopped because I was having a temper tantrum and hyperventilating, or if it was because Joey stopped in awe of my display of behavior. I do know this….it was not my finest moment, and it didn’t look pretty on me. We all know pretty is as pretty does. To this day whenever Joey can tell I am getting ready to lose my cool he will say, “Should I be prepared? Are we about to have another Nike+ moment?” It’s a bold move on his part, because I am either going to laugh thinking about that day in March 2014, or I am going to completely lose it. Lucky for him, I have laughed every time, and it has defused the situation at hand.
In my own bold move, I threw away my watch that day in March of 2014. I was done with not enjoying runs anymore and comparing myself to others. I was done being in prison.
Since my running has transitioned more to the treadmill because of an injury, I have been more observant of other runners who still have their data driven watches and type A personalities. Some have more than one watch, because one has specific features the other doesn’t. So they wear both. Or, they want to see which one is more accurate. Or, they don’t want their running coach to know they are running more miles than they should be, so they report on one watch but run more miles on another watch their coach doesn’t know about. I mean, how crazy is that? But, I assure you, it happens. Or, the best I’ve seen, are the runners who run in segments so they can report a faster time than they really would have run. For example, they need to run an 8:20 pace for 8 miles, but are coming off an injury, so for the sake of their upcoming Facebook post and their humble brag report on recovery, they run each mile at 8:20 but take 10 minute breaks (watch paused) in between each mile, so they can hit their times. A run that should take just over an hour has now taken over two hours for the sake of hitting their paces and for the sake of the #blessed Facebook post and humble bragging.
Ugh – enough, already!!! I can’t take it. Are we so tied to our devices we miss the joy and beauty around us, whether it be the Alabama landscape or the friendships formed between those with whom we run? (Or for me, catching up on the treadmill with cable news because Joey doesn’t like to watch it). Are we so tied to our devices we live in this prison so that something that is supposed to relieve stress is now causing it? Are we so intent on humble Facebook bragging that we manipulate runs into something they weren’t meant to be? Do we think people really care?
I, for one, am done. (Well, I thought I was, until Joey got me another watch for Christmas…but that’s another story for another day….it has to be calibrated to the treadmill, so it’s not stress inducing, and it really does look cool – so it’s more for show). Now when I hear people talking about their GPS watches, or fitbits, or tracking device on their phones, I feel free and lucky. Lucky not to be imprisoned by data, or the reports the data produces. The result? I am happier and stronger, because my runs are longer, my workouts are more enjoyable, and I don’t dread them.*
*It should be noted that on the afternoon of writing this article, I was informed by my employer that I must order a Fitbit for our intercompany fitness competition. The irony has not been lost on me, as I will be wearing two devices, and I am scared of what may become of me. Joey is already checking on our Hilton points in case he needs to escape.
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